It has come to this!
Well, why not?
We've seen all the movies too and since we get most of our movies, as DVD s, free from the public library collection--we've seen some classic stupid stuff--just like YOU have!
But we have our own criteria for BAD and it is OUR own good taste in cinema, as it were, that makes all the difference.
First of all--to be considered for our list, the BAD movies must be at least good enough so that we can watch them to the bitter end!
(A lot of bad movies are SO bad we can't stand to watch them all the way through and these losers are not on our list of awful movies!) We admit that the reason we watched most of them all the way through was because they were free and we didn't have anything else to do.
Our bad movie list includes ALL so-called movies--old, new, American, foreign--everything!
Nuff said! Here goes our count-down:
Ta-dahhh! (Drum roll)
Number TEN: Butterfield 8.
This movie is just awful!
The wooden acting of Liz Taylor and the pretty face cosying up to her are about as stupid as it gets. The so-called plot is so trite we could actually speak the lines before the actors did!
Redeeming qualities: well, when one of the characters shot a shotgun it actually recoiled. That is a bit of totally unexpected realism!
In the car wreck scene at the end I liked the way the tire went bouncing away after the car went off the cliff at smashed on the rocks!
Number NINE: The Planet of the Dinosaurs.
Oh, this was BAD. The "acting" was not quite as good as that in a country high school's senior play.
The costuming was laughable.
Redeeming qualities: I liked the scene when one of the actresses suddenly gets eaten, not quite whole, by a fake-looking dinosaur!
Number EIGHT: Jeremiah Johnson.
This was totally foolish!
It was one if those large-scale CinemaScope quasi-epics which were perpetrated to lure the motion picture customers away from their new TV and back into the empty theaters.
It came complete with a musical overture and an intermission number--oh, me--it WAS so boring and awful I don't even like to remember it for this critique!
Redeeming Qualities: nada.
Number SEVEN: Cagliostro.
This impossibility was made in Japan and it is about as bad as it comes.
It is a color cartoon--with about the same level of art as your kid's Saturday matinee rubbish--but with a grandiose title and, mockery of monkey business, glowing praise by Steven Spielberg (Who should certainly know better!) on the DVD cover!
The plot so corney--the characters so cardboard--the Disney-copycatting Swiss alpine scenery so totally stupid--oh, what a waste of everyone's time--except maybe the artists that got paid for making this abortion!
Redeeming Qualities: I liked the scene where the cartoon characters are eating saimin noodles out of plastic cups. Now THAT was a fine piece of modern reality!
Number SIX: The Dark Night
You might wonder why we would select this prize-winning dud for our number eight of the worst movies we have ever seen. Well, we DID watch it all the way through in spite of a strong desire to turn it off.
Honestly, such rampant stupidity should not be considered entertainment--unless you think unbridled comic book murder and mayhem are good theater.
What can you do with a public that thinks such trash is worthy of it's highest motion picture prizes? You CAN'T wash your hands of your own people--your own culture--your own civilization! But when they agree that this is GOOD STUFF--it IS tempting!
Car chases, explosions, disjointed plot-- pious attempt to appear relevant and even quasi-wholesome--bah!
It is probably foolish to try to find any redeeming quality--so we won't bother.
We've seen all the movies too and since we get most of our movies, as DVD s, free from the public library collection--we've seen some classic stupid stuff--just like YOU have!
But we have our own criteria for BAD and it is OUR own good taste in cinema, as it were, that makes all the difference.
First of all--to be considered for our list, the BAD movies must be at least good enough so that we can watch them to the bitter end!
(A lot of bad movies are SO bad we can't stand to watch them all the way through and these losers are not on our list of awful movies!) We admit that the reason we watched most of them all the way through was because they were free and we didn't have anything else to do.
Our bad movie list includes ALL so-called movies--old, new, American, foreign--everything!
Nuff said! Here goes our count-down:
Ta-dahhh! (Drum roll)
Number TEN: Butterfield 8.
This movie is just awful!
The wooden acting of Liz Taylor and the pretty face cosying up to her are about as stupid as it gets. The so-called plot is so trite we could actually speak the lines before the actors did!
Redeeming qualities: well, when one of the characters shot a shotgun it actually recoiled. That is a bit of totally unexpected realism!
In the car wreck scene at the end I liked the way the tire went bouncing away after the car went off the cliff at smashed on the rocks!
Number NINE: The Planet of the Dinosaurs.
Oh, this was BAD. The "acting" was not quite as good as that in a country high school's senior play.
The costuming was laughable.
Redeeming qualities: I liked the scene when one of the actresses suddenly gets eaten, not quite whole, by a fake-looking dinosaur!
Number EIGHT: Jeremiah Johnson.
This was totally foolish!
It was one if those large-scale CinemaScope quasi-epics which were perpetrated to lure the motion picture customers away from their new TV and back into the empty theaters.
It came complete with a musical overture and an intermission number--oh, me--it WAS so boring and awful I don't even like to remember it for this critique!
Redeeming Qualities: nada.
Number SEVEN: Cagliostro.
This impossibility was made in Japan and it is about as bad as it comes.
It is a color cartoon--with about the same level of art as your kid's Saturday matinee rubbish--but with a grandiose title and, mockery of monkey business, glowing praise by Steven Spielberg (Who should certainly know better!) on the DVD cover!
The plot so corney--the characters so cardboard--the Disney-copycatting Swiss alpine scenery so totally stupid--oh, what a waste of everyone's time--except maybe the artists that got paid for making this abortion!
Redeeming Qualities: I liked the scene where the cartoon characters are eating saimin noodles out of plastic cups. Now THAT was a fine piece of modern reality!
Number SIX: The Dark Night
You might wonder why we would select this prize-winning dud for our number eight of the worst movies we have ever seen. Well, we DID watch it all the way through in spite of a strong desire to turn it off.
Honestly, such rampant stupidity should not be considered entertainment--unless you think unbridled comic book murder and mayhem are good theater.
What can you do with a public that thinks such trash is worthy of it's highest motion picture prizes? You CAN'T wash your hands of your own people--your own culture--your own civilization! But when they agree that this is GOOD STUFF--it IS tempting!
Car chases, explosions, disjointed plot-- pious attempt to appear relevant and even quasi-wholesome--bah!
It is probably foolish to try to find any redeeming quality--so we won't bother.
More Later!
Tomasito, 2009
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Tomasito, 2009
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